


Best Animal Awards

by I May Age Regress (shnuffeluv)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Animals, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Arguing, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Gen, Mind Palace, Non-Sexual Age Play, Parent Morality | Patton Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 17:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/I%20May%20Age%20Regress
Summary: Logan and Roman can't seem to agree on what the best animal is.





	Best Animal Awards

"What do you  _mean_  dragons are the best animal?! They're not even real!" Logan protested.

Roman kept his arms crossed. "I said what I said! Why would you say that  _dolphins_  of all things are better?!"

"They are just as intelligent as humans, if not more so!" Logan said. "Anyone who can't see that they're the best is too  _stupid_  to understand true genius!"

Roman cried out in rage just as Patton rushed into the room. "Hey hey hey, kids, that's enough!" he said sternly, shooting looks at both boys. "The best animal is something that is  _subjective_ \--it's different to each person! No need to get into a fist fight over your opinions!"

"It's not an opinion!" Roman protested. "It's fact! Dragons are better than dolphins, or any other animal!"

"Dragons aren't even real!" Logan repeated. "They can't be the best if they don't exist!"

The two started shouting at each other and Patton insisted, "Boys! Please! Be civil!"

Roman crossed his arms and Logan huffed in frustration. "I don't understand why he can't just see the facts!" Logan insisted.

Virgil walked into the room, rubbing his eyes. "What's going on?" he asked.

Roman pulled a face. "He thinks dolphins are better than dragons!" he exclaimed, pointing at Logan.

Virgil looked between the two and sighed. "I know I'm going to regret this, but why don't you both try to prove your point?"

"What? How?" Logan asked.

"Well, we live in a Mind Palace, where we're capable of summoning anything into being," Virgil said. "So get a dolphin and a dragon in here and see which animal is better at what."

Logan and Roman stared at Virgil in shock, before staring at each other. In an instant, Roman snapped his fingers and they were in a large arena, filled with spectators. There were large circles of land in the arena, but most of the area was water. There was a ten foot tall dragon on one of the circles further away, and a pod of dolphins swimming through the water.

"Okay. How do we determine which animal is better? What's the first test?" Virgil asked Logan and Roman. Patton still stood between the two, watching them nervously, but the boys were fixated on their animals of choice.

"Presentation, of course!" Roman exclaimed. "Dragons are sophisticated, and strong! Their scales show how tough they are and that they're not to be messed with! Not to mention the sheer awe you feel when they breathe fire!"

As if on cue, the dragon a couple circles away blew fire and the imaginary crowd around them erupted in cheers.

Logan scoffed. "When it comes to presentation, dolphins are clearly the superior creature. They are streamlined for water travel, and their gray bodies allow for excellent camouflage in the water if they are in danger. In addition, have you ever seen a pod of dolphins jump out of the water? They're majestic creatures."

The dolphins jumped over each other as they swam around and once more the imaginary crowd cheered.

Roman huffed. "Dragons have flight! That's cooler than jumping into the air! Anyone can do that!"

The dragon flew through the air over their heads, and Patton made a startled squeak when the dragon flew a little too low for comfort.

"Dolphins know how to keep their prey captive even in the wide expanse of the ocean with just a little teamwork!" Logan insisted. He flicked a hand in the air and suddenly their circle was surrounded by fish.

The dolphins came over immediately, circling the fish until they were trapped in a ball, and then eagerly ate their lunch.

Roman watched them closely before frowning. "Dragons are smarter!"

"Dolphins exist in the real world!" Logan shot back.

"Dragons love treasure and are great for adventures!" Roman argued.

"Dolphins have been known to help people stranded at sea!"

"Dragons!"

"Dolphins!"

"Dragons!" Roman clenched his fists.

"Dolphins!" Logan stomped his foot.

"Boys!" Patton exclaimed, pushing them further apart. "Take a breath. Favorite animals are  _subjective_ , remember?"

Logan and Roman glared at each other, while Virgil observed them both quietly. "I think the both of you are right," he said.

"What?" Logan and Roman asked together, looking at him.

"I mean, both animals are pretty cool," Virgil said with a shrug. "And it's not like only one animal can be best. Just like you can have a tie in points on a scoreboard, you can have a tie for the best animal."

Logan and Roman looked at each other in surprise. That was an option that they had never considered. They looked back out at the arena, where the dragon was sleeping lazily on one of the circles and the dolphins were playing with each other. "I suppose dragons have their merits," Logan mumbled, scuffing his foot on the floor.

"Yeah, and dolphins can be pretty cool, sometimes," Roman allowed.

"You know what's better than both those animals separately, though?" Virgil asked.

"What?" Patton asked for the boys, before they could argue nothing was better.

"Both of them together!" Virgil exclaimed. With a wave of his hand, the dragon was up and flying again, and the dolphins were swimming towards it.

The dolphins jumped over each other  _and_  the dragon as it flew around the arena, and the crowd went absolutely wild. The cheers were almost deafening, but nothing could drown out Logan and Roman's cheers as they watched their favorite animals perform tricks with each other.

"You're good with them," Patton murmured, finally feeling free to move from between the boys.

Virgil shrugged. "Eh. I can try and solve problems if it means that there's less shouting in the mind palace."

Patton nudged Virgil's shoulder. "Don't sell yourself short, Virge. You're an amazing caretaker."

"I'd rather be the cool uncle than their caretaker," Virgil said. "Less responsibility that way, but just as much-if not more-fun."

Patton laughed. Then, they heard the excited cry of Roman yelling, "I'm gonna swim with the dolphins!"

"No!" Virgil and Patton shouted at the same time, rushing forward.

But Roman was already in the water, and the only thing Virgil and Patton succeeded in doing was getting soaked, along with Logan. "Roman!" Logan yelled in an outrage. It took everything Patton and Virgil had to hold Logan back from jumping in to exact his revenge.


End file.
